i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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