Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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