If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
