You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
