shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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