I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize