Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize