I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
