He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
