This girl is more easily done than said...
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
