Swine flu. Run for my life!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
