I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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