who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize