U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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