The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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