What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
