You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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