you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
