i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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