mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.