so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
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I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...