Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I smell like Dick and happiness