i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.