Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
