I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
