Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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