My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
someone owes me an orgasm
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
