What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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