You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize
