I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize