is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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