He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
