How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
