Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
