I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
