guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
