i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
