Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
