no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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