I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
