im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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