I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
