Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
