The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
