She said her name was "party"
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
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She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
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I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
His nipple licking is glorious
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