Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
