wanna go halves on a baby?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
and she was petting her beer can
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
