Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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