So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
