Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
