He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
