Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
