That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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