I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you didnt know i had herpes?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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