You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
