if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
