Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
