I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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