I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
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I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
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I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
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