I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
