it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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