If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
