I want to stick my p in your. b.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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