"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This girl is more easily done than said...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
